- Posted on 04/06/2010 by Mary
This week's advice-seeker says:
So me and my guy friend are really close, and of course everyone thinks that there's "something going on between us," but I really haven't thought much of it. I usually just brush it off, but last night I had a dream about us in a relationship. I'm still a bit freaked out by it and I don't know if my subconscious is trying to tell me something. I mean I haven't really thought about it, but we're so much alike that we would be a great match and since were already so close we don't have any of those awkward pauses... ever. Now a part of me really thinks that we could work, but the other half is a bit cautious about it.
Now my feelings for him are mixed . I'm not quite sure if I should tell him though because we talk about everything and he has vented to me about how he hates girls chasing after him and every girl he talks to ends up liking him and that I am the only one who hasn't, and he totally appreciates it. Now I'm stuck with the dilemma of telling him and he may freak out and we would lose our friendship. Or tell him how I really feel, get it off my chest, and possibly have a chance for a new relationship.
I can't make up my mind, what should i do?"
And Ray says...
"Hey, that's a tough spot for sure. I'll preface my response with the fact that I think I'm a sadist, and am probably not qualified to offer the advice or answer that you'll want to hear, but if after reading my disclaimer you still want my two cents, then I hope this helps?
After reading your question, I feel like you're confused about how you feel for your guy friend. I'd say first off: figure out how you feel internally and then go honestly from there. Discover how you alone feel. Disregard what your friends may think could be a 'cute' couple, and disregard your dream; as a psychology student I've learned that we really know nothing about our dreams and whether or not they have any implications in R.L. so don't put too much weight on this one. Sounds like your mind and heart are playing tricks on you. If at the end of the day however, you feel like you do have feelings for him, then tell him. - Yeah, he might freak. And that could suck. But maybe he won't, you said yourself you two have a good friendship? Perhaps he'll feel the same way and you could go further? And even if he doesn't want to, if the friendship is indeed strong, then this situation shouldn't break it.
I had a similar experience in grade ten. I went out with my best friend, thinking that it would be swell. After all, she used to make me cookie dough, and then we'd eat it together in class. Things started falling apart though. We broke up, but remained best friends (with some rough patches, of course). We were better as friends than as a couple . All this back story to say that even if you can't have the romantic relationship your friendship shouldn't be lost, so why not go for it? - You've got nothing to lose? But at the same time, being in a relationship isn't the be all and end all of everything, although it seems like kids our age, 'Alli' for example, are transfixed on the idea of a relationship and that it will make their lives complete. You don't have to fall for it too though. - But I'm probably just bitter or something?
I guess you gotta figure it out on your own. I'd start off with discovering what you actually feel though, not what your friends, your dreams, or society tells you? Hope I helped.
- Posted on 04/05/2010 by Mary
Walk in on your parents having a particularly special moment with each other?
Or have your parents walk in on you and your bf/gf having a particularly special moment with each other?
Which emotionally scarring experience sounds more awesome to remember for the rest of your life?
(And if you' re still on spring break right now, you can check out "Adventures in Double Dating" on One on One Tuesday at 11:30a et... where Flex and Breanna basically catch each other out on dates... but nothing toooo scarring, thank God..)
- Posted on 04/04/2010 by Lisa
Hey, remember Hip Hop? He's the bunny Marco adopts in "Death and Glory, pt. 2." In honor of Easter, Degrassi, and bunnies, here's a close-up of Hip Hop's cuddly widdle face.
Aww... Hip Hop! I just want to snuggle you.
- Posted on 04/03/2010 by Lisa
"Chantay Black is the fakest friend!" - realluve's thread
Chantay gossips about pretty much everyone; she accuses Manny of being racist, she teams up with Darcy to keep Mia off the spirit squad, and then later be friends Mia when she starts becoming famous; she tells Leia to break up with Danny because she wants him for herself. Huffalump1 says, "Chantay is seriously backstabby and hypocritical."
"Jenna's such a fake friend!" - icegirl111's thread
Jenna flirts with K.C. after saying "Don't worry Clare-bear, I won't even look at him." OoBelle thinks Jenna's a backstabber who's been "trying to steal him since the moment she saw him."
Which of these girls would you LEAST want to be friends with?
- Posted on 04/03/2010 by Mary
You know, marrying for love is actually a relatively recent phenomenon -- marriage and monogamy have been about protecting property for a much longer time than they've been about snuggling in front of sunsets for life. The romantic notion of finding and keeping "The One" is modern -- and, based on the divorce rate, only partially successful. Meanwhile... check this out from a Scientific American podcast:
"There's even a study published in India but using an American love scale, called the Rubin Love Scale, that compared love in love marriages in India ... to love in arranged marriages. And in this particular study, love in the love marriages starts out very high. And then over time it decreases. ... And in the arranged marriages ... we see the love starting out relatively low. Because in so many cases the people barely know each other, sometimes they've had a half an hour of contact in total before they got married. And then it increases gradually, surpasses the love in the love marriages at about five years. And 10 years out it's twice as strong."
So basically, in India anyway, people who marry for love generally start out all gaga and then gradually get sick of each other, but people whose marriages are arranged generally start out kinda "ummm?" but then end up a lot happier than the love marriage people.
Food for thought, right?? I'm not saying I would want my parents to pick my spouse for me, but... it's made me feel a little less knee-jerk "GROSS!" about the idea of arranged marriage...
(BTW, if you're wondering, the "Rubin Love Scale" measures how much you agree with statements like "I feel that I can confide in my loved one about virtually everything" and "I find it easy to ignore my loved one's faults"... check out the whole loving and liking scales here, they're pretty interesting...)
- Posted on 04/02/2010 by Mary
Holly J said, "Sav's grown up enough to have sex; he's grown up enough to tell his parents he has a girlfriend."
True that, and furthermore... if Sav and Anya are grown up enough to have sex, they're BOTH grown up enough to have made a much more thorough, concrete plan for how they were going to prevent a pregnancy -- a pregnancy that would deeply affect both of their lives -- instead of, like, a two sentence conversation two seconds before it happened.
As they say at stayteen.org," Teen pregnancy is 100% preventable. (Unless it's the result of sexual violence.) What else can you say that about? Either don't have sex at all, or use protection every single time."
- Posted on 04/02/2010 by Mary
MASSIVE, DEGRASSI-RUINING SPOILERS ARE BELOW. I beg of you, do not read these questions 'til you've seen the episode ok? OK.
Now, for the prepared among us...
1) How do you think Sav should have handled the Farrah debacle? I can see why Holly J and Chantay were kind of clucking their tongues at Anya over it all, but at the same time, I kind of felt like Sav was handling it as best he could under the circumstances. How 'bout you?
2) And did you hate Farrah? 'Cause I kind of didn't. And I kind of felt like she might justifiably feel like "I saw him first," since she's been told she was going to marry him since she was a little kid.
3) Oh my God, in the last scene... Anya crying and having that talk with Sav? I wanted to die and then hug her and then die again. What an AMAZING performance by Samantha, that was so real my chest hurt. Maybe the best breakup scene ever on Degrassi? Your thoughts?
4) Do you think Sav was right to break up with Anya? I'm furious with her for lying about something SO incredibly life-altering and important, too. But I'm also kind of dumbfounded that he thought one simple question and a non-answer in the limo was an adequate birth control discussion.
5 ) Johnny DiMarco: "I guess you can't just choose your friends." Interesting take on life, eh? In a weird way, he kind of has a point...
6) Alli and Dave? Chemistry? Thoughts?
- Posted on 04/01/2010 by Mary
We asked Samantha Munro 5 questions; she gave us 5 answers. The universe is balanced indeed. Get to know her!
< b>What was the first rock show/concert you ever went to, and what was the BEST rock show/concert you ever went to?
Same answer for both... Blink 182. It was my first concert and it was only last year (that's right, I was 18 years old). I screamed the entire time and I lost my voice for 2 days.
What makes you cranky? And what gets you un-cranky?
I don't like being cold. I think I was supposed to be born in a tropical location. What makes me un-cranky??? Sun and a baggy sweater
When you doodle, what do yo u draw?
I always draw a moose. In fact, I'm quite famous for my moose. His name is Alvin. He's cute.
What do you think makes a good Degrassi episode?
I really like it when something shocking happens that yo u weren't expecting. When you have that OMG moment. I also enjoy it when we get to see why characters are the way they are. For example, why Riley had anger issues or why Holly J was so nasty.
And a user question from kisstojake: What's been your most embarrassing moment on set?
We were filming a scene where I was walking through a door, and, to put it simply, the door didn't open and I walked smack into the glass. I whacked my face right into it. Classic.
- Posted on 03/29/2010 by Lisa
Before the Kids' Choice Awards, I was on the orange carpet, posting live updates for nick.com, and I got to meet Melinda Shankar (Alli) and Sam Earle (K.C.) from Degrassi. It was the first time any of us had been at the KCAs, so we were all really excited to be there.
I got to talk to a bunch of celebrities, but I think I got the most excited to meet Melinda and Sam, just because I love watching them on Degrassi. If you're wondering, they were both so nice in person.
Don't they look great?
- Posted on 03/26/2010 by Mary
Who's the Emma in your group of friends, and who's the Manny? Who's the Declan and who's the Holly J? We made some Degrassi photo grids for you to grab and tag your friends on facebook, or wheresoever you prefer tagging your friends. (And invite them over for brand new episodes April 2 at 9p et omg!)
Way too many people have graced the halls of Degrassi for one grid, so:
Here's the "new school" version: Holly J, Declan, Fiona, Clare, K.C., Jenna, Sav, Anya, etc.
And here's the "old school" version: Manny, Ellie, Paige, Marco, Ashley, Emma, Craig, Sean, Jay, Heather Sinclair, etc.