Sav's arranged marriage might not be so horrible.

Posted on Apr 03, 2010 by Mary

You know, marrying for love is actually a relatively recent phenomenon -- marriage and monogamy have been about protecting property for a much longer time than they've been about snuggling in front of sunsets for life. The romantic notion of finding and keeping "The One" is modern -- and, based on the divorce rate, only partially successful. Meanwhile... check this out from a Scientific American podcast:

"There's even a study published in India but using an American love scale, called the Rubin Love Scale, that compared love in love marriages in India ... to love in arranged marriages. And in this particular study, love in the love marriages starts out very high. And then over time it decreases. ... And in the arranged marriages ... we see the love starting out relatively low. Because in so many cases the people barely know each other, sometimes they've had a half an hour of contact in total before they got married. And then it increases gradually, surpasses the love in the love marriages at about five years. And 10 years out it's twice as strong."

So basically, in India anyway, people who marry for love generally start out all gaga and then gradually get sick of each other, but people whose marriages are arranged generally start out kinda "ummm?" but then end up a lot happier than the love marriage people.

Food for thought, right?? I'm not saying I would want my parents to pick my spouse for me, but... it's made me feel a little less knee-jerk "GROSS!" about the idea of arranged marriage...

(BTW, if you're wondering, the "Rubin Love Scale" measures how much you agree with statements like "I feel that I can confide in my loved one about virtually everything" and "I find it easy to ignore my loved one's faults"... check out the whole loving and liking scales here, they're pretty interesting...)

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