Should You Tell a Friend You Don't Like Their Bf/Gf?

Posted on May 05, 2011 by Mary

Alli tells Clare what she thinks of Eli on Degrassi
Alli's nose, meet Clare's beeswax.

This may or may not have just been some Munro-lust working its way into people's judgment about the E-Clare break-up, but this post on the Degrassi board got me thinking...

"Who Does Alli Think She Is? Excuse me, but Eli and Alli haven't even talked this whole season, yet Alli has had such a big influence on Eli and Clare's relationship!! Like don't try and put ur 2 cents in Alli!" - Kira<3'sMunroChambers

I know in real life, friends can get put in some pretty uncomfortable predicaments when they donate their opinions about a friend's relationship. Such as:

1) You tell your friend that their bf/gf is bad for them; they get angry at you instead of the bf/gf... even if you're right. Sometimes because you're right -- because it's too hard to admit.
2) Your friend complains and complains and complains about their bf/gf. They finally break up. You say things like "good riddance" and "they were never good enough for you" and "I always hated them." Then they get back together... and now you're the friend who hates their bf/gf. Oy.
3) You tell your friend, "I don't know, the way they did that to you seems pretty manipulative/shady/whatever." Next fight your friend has with their bf/gf, they're like "Well my friend YOUR NAME HERE says that that was manipulative." Guess who gets an earful from the bf/gf next time you bump into each other?

But... think about Alli's side of that E-Clare thing. Your best friend is in a relationship she doesn't want to be in anymore, but is having trouble ending it because she feels guilty, doesn't want to hurt him, etc. Isn't it kind of the job of a friend to say, "Hey, you need to look after yourself here"... to support your friend who's having trouble doing something difficult but necessary?

So... what do you say when a friend is going through something with their bf/gf. Weigh in? Keep your mouth shut? How do you handle it with YOUR friends?

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