Blog | friends
- Posted on 04/06/2010 by Mary
This week's advice-seeker says:
So me and my guy friend are really close, and of course everyone thinks that there's "something going on between us," but I really haven't thought much of it. I usually just brush it off, but last night I had a dream about us in a relationship. I'm still a bit freaked out by it and I don't know if my subconscious is trying to tell me something. I mean I haven't really thought about it, but we're so much alike that we would be a great match and since were already so close we don't have any of those awkward pauses... ever. Now a part of me really thinks that we could work, but the other half is a bit cautious about it.
Now my feelings for him are mixed . I'm not quite sure if I should tell him though because we talk about everything and he has vented to me about how he hates girls chasing after him and every girl he talks to ends up liking him and that I am the only one who hasn't, and he totally appreciates it. Now I'm stuck with the dilemma of telling him and he may freak out and we would lose our friendship. Or tell him how I really feel, get it off my chest, and possibly have a chance for a new relationship.
I can't make up my mind, what should i do?"
And Ray says...
"Hey, that's a tough spot for sure. I'll preface my response with the fact that I think I'm a sadist, and am probably not qualified to offer the advice or answer that you'll want to hear, but if after reading my disclaimer you still want my two cents, then I hope this helps?
After reading your question, I feel like you're confused about how you feel for your guy friend. I'd say first off: figure out how you feel internally and then go honestly from there. Discover how you alone feel. Disregard what your friends may think could be a 'cute' couple, and disregard your dream; as a psychology student I've learned that we really know nothing about our dreams and whether or not they have any implications in R.L. so don't put too much weight on this one. Sounds like your mind and heart are playing tricks on you. If at the end of the day however, you feel like you do have feelings for him, then tell him. - Yeah, he might freak. And that could suck. But maybe he won't, you said yourself you two have a good friendship? Perhaps he'll feel the same way and you could go further? And even if he doesn't want to, if the friendship is indeed strong, then this situation shouldn't break it.
I had a similar experience in grade ten. I went out with my best friend, thinking that it would be swell. After all, she used to make me cookie dough, and then we'd eat it together in class. Things started falling apart though. We broke up, but remained best friends (with some rough patches, of course). We were better as friends than as a couple . All this back story to say that even if you can't have the romantic relationship your friendship shouldn't be lost, so why not go for it? - You've got nothing to lose? But at the same time, being in a relationship isn't the be all and end all of everything, although it seems like kids our age, 'Alli' for example, are transfixed on the idea of a relationship and that it will make their lives complete. You don't have to fall for it too though. - But I'm probably just bitter or something?
I guess you gotta figure it out on your own. I'd start off with discovering what you actually feel though, not what your friends, your dreams, or society tells you? Hope I helped.
- Posted on 04/03/2010 by Lisa
"Chantay Black is the fakest friend!" - realluve's thread
Chantay gossips about pretty much everyone; she accuses Manny of being racist, she teams up with Darcy to keep Mia off the spirit squad, and then later be friends Mia when she starts becoming famous; she tells Leia to break up with Danny because she wants him for herself. Huffalump1 says, "Chantay is seriously backstabby and hypocritical."
"Jenna's such a fake friend!" - icegirl111's thread
Jenna flirts with K.C. after saying "Don't worry Clare-bear, I won't even look at him." OoBelle thinks Jenna's a backstabber who's been "trying to steal him since the moment she saw him."
Which of these girls would you LEAST want to be friends with?
- Posted on 03/06/2010 by Lisa
sunsoaker3 got a big debate started on the message boards. She says, "Spinner is way too old to still be chillin around the high school crowd."
Some of the people posting seem to agree:
"I know I definitely think he should hang around with a crowd that's more his age." - krisl
"I think its quite sad that Spinner hasn't moved along like everyone else. Darcy left for Africa, Manny and Emma are in college, Paige and them are fully grown adults with their own lives and successes. Everyone is gone and I feel Spinner will be there in Toronto forever, even after Peter and them leave." - tweenkid
But others are sticking up for Spin:
"Well, he is dating a girl in high school, his band is still in high school, his best friend moved far away right after graduation, and he runs the Dot. What is supposed to do? Give up on everything and everyone he loves because they are all younger?" - jsi959
"I think you all must be forgetting that not everyone moves away after school. Not everyone goes off to college/joins a band/goes to Africa/etc. Spinner's situation is common, to be honest. I graduated in 07 and I haven't left my hometown. If all of your friends move away to do whatever it is that they're movin away to do, you'll eventually make new friends." - MrLWeegee
I didn't have anyone like Spinner around when I was in high school, but I sort of wish I had. It makes me wonder how many people are in that situation.
If you're in high school, are any of your good friends a few years older than you?
If you've graduated already, do you have any friends who are still in high school?
- Posted on 03/04/2010 by Mary
When your friend wants to get back together with the guy who fwded her naked pics and lied about being a virgin but she still loves him and he maybe still loves her and it's all very confusing and she wants advice (tonight, Degrassi, 10p et), are you the Clare friend, or the Jenna friend?
As in, are you the one who gives the reality checks and solid advice and tries to keep your friends out of trouble, but sometimes might come off as judgy?
Or the one who cheerleads for romantic ideals and experimenting with life and not being judgy, but sometimes maybe fails to avoid trouble?
Or somethin' else entirely?
Judge yourself in the comments...