Blog | sex

  • What did Liberty and Jenna have in common?

    Posted on 05/04/2011 by Mary

    If you didn't already hear, today's the National Day to Prevent Teen Pregnancy. I know, every day should be the Day to Prevent Teen Pregnancy, but today's the day we make SURE we talk about it.

    On TeenNick, we're showing the episodes of Degrassi where Jenna, KC, Liberty, and JT faced those terrifying little pink lines: positive pregnancy tests.

    JT, Liberty, Jenna and KC -- characters from Degrassi who faced teen pregnancy
    JT, Liberty, Jenna, and KC are some of the Degrassi characters who have faced teen pregnancy

    One thing we've learned on Degrassi (or maybe you've learned it just by looking around at your high school) is that teen pregnancy isn't caused by being "a certain kind of person."

    Liberty and Jenna are pretty different characters -- the responsible, brainiac, "innocent" student council-er vs. the singing cheerleader who encouraged her boyfriend to cheat on his math test.

    And JT and KC have some major differences too (even if they both went by initials) -- the slightly dorky, happy-go-lucky jokester vs. the emotionally tortured, all-star jock with a brain.

    But they all have one major thing in common: they faced an unplanned pregnancy.

    Over on the StayTeen.org website, they've got a "Myth Monsters" game to help you bust through the myths surrounding teen sex, birth control, and pregnancy. Or if you don't feel like going through the whole game, you can just check out their list of common myths like "Everyone is doing it" and "You can't get pregnant if..."

    To that list of myths, I just want to add...
    MYTH: "Only bad/bratty/boyfriend-stealer/promiscuous girls get pregnant."
    Pregnancy is a result of sex, not of "goodness" or "badness". Anyone who has unprotected or poorly protected sex can end up facing the same life-changing problem.

  • Degrassi OMG: Declan confronts Holly J at work

    Posted on 10/22/2010 by Mary

    In my opinion, this might be one of the best conversations ever on Degrassi, in terms of the questions it raises. Let's break it down piece by piece. What could Declan and Holly J each have done differently to prevent the emotional fallout they both suffered?

    Holly J: I didn't want to. I told you that.
    Declan: I thought that was because of Sav.
    Holly J: Does it matter why?? You didn't listen. You insisted.

    When things started, Holly J said no. Declan could have prevented all of this from happening if he had listened to her and believed her, instead of trying to evaluate her reasons for saying no and trying to change her mind. Why be with someone who doesn't completely, unequivocally want to be with you in that moment?

    Declan could and should have backed off in that moment. He had a choice to back off, and it would have been an infinitely better choice. Personally, I have to say I'm really angry at him for not backing off.

    But he didn't, and then we come to the next point:

    Declan: Yeah, but then you kissed me. I thought you changed your mind. Holly J: Maybe I did. I was confused. I'm not saying it was all your fault.

    After Declan made his choice, Holly J had a choice about her next move, too. Instead of repeating herself unequivocally or attempting to physically remove herself from the situation, she decided to go forward even though she was unsure. And confusion is a terrible state to be in when you do the most intimate and vulnerable thing you can do with your body. Because the conflicted feeling doesn't go away. And that's a horrible way to feel after the fact, when you can't un-do things.

    Holly J should have listened to her confusion, and stuck with her conviction of "no," rather than giving conflicting information to Declan. She could have prevented this from happening, too (assuming Declan wouldn't have forced her -- which I don't think he would have, do you?)

    Both of them messed up. And both of them are left feeling horrible.

    Anyway I've seen a lot of conversation about this episode talking about the question of rape, and a lot of conflicting ideas about what is and what isn't. Here's some information I've found incredibly helpful: RAINN's (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) information page describing what rape and sexual assault are, in easy to understand language.

  • Degrassi: Let's talk about Love Lockdown.

    Posted on 10/22/2010 by Mary

    SPOILERS BELOW. Watch the episode first, here. Then, let's talk.

    1) Declan and Holly J... I'm gonna talk about this more in a separate blog. But what are your thoughts on the episode?

    2) Holly J regrets what happened. And I'm sure now that he knows Holly J regrets it, Declan regrets it, too. So, a regrettable situation for all involved. What do you think each of them could and should have done to prevent this from happening?

    3) Clare and Eli... as much as it was difficult to watch Clare being so smug at that dinner with her parents, especially since she was hurting Eli, I still felt compassion for her because of what she's going through. How did you feel about Clare during that scene?

    4) What did you think of Bizarro-Clare's temporary look? What if she just started dressing like that all the time from now on?

  • Degrassi: Declan... whoa.

    Posted on 10/15/2010 by Mary

    Ummm. So... well, first SPOILERS BELOW if you haven't watched Love Lockdown pt. 1 yet. (It'll be online soon, don't worry.) Everyone else:

    1) What just happened with Holly J and Declan? What are your thoughts? I was gripping the sides of my chair and just... upset but confused and flabbergasted and confused and upset. I don't think Declan is an evil person -- at ALL -- but that really, really upset me, personally. What was your reaction to that last scene?

    2) Oh God. What about Sav? Ohhh man.

    3) Did you see that glint in Clare's eye when she realized her parents were united in opposition to her piercing? Ruh roh...

    4) Here's how we know Eli truly, truly cares for Clare: he's worried her parents won't like him. What's the opposite of a red flag, a green flag? Well then that right there is what we call a new boyfriend green flag. Eli... your perfection is simply intoxicating.

    5) Haha, as much as I felt bad for Chantay fighting the good fight to save a Spirit Squad no one else seems to care about... I probably would have felt pretty meh if the cheerleading squad (if you could call it that) got disbanded in high school. What clubs would you fight to save if Simpson shut them down?

  • Weird Dreams about the Wrong Person

    Posted on 09/15/2010 by Mary

    Fez dreams about sexy Nurse Kelso Have you ever had a dream about someone that you did NOT want to have that dream about? Like a make-out dream about someone you HATE, or your ex, or... Kelso? Well, ok, I guess there's a good chunk of the population that would not mind dreaming about Kelso. (But Fez is not in that chunk, according to last night's ep where he dreamed that Kelso was his sexy nurse).

    It actually reminded me of an advice question Ray "Sav" Ablack answered a while ago... over here. He said basically the same thing Kitty on That '70s Show said... scientifically speaking: dreams are weird, and kind of random, and who knows what they mean.

    You could have a make-out dream about your friend because you saw them that day and ate too many egg rolls off the floor (Fez!)... or because you're totally in love with them. But, it's probably easier to tell that you're in love with someone because you're like... in love with them. That's usually the tip-off.

    Ever have a dream like that about someone you weren't into like that?

  • Degrassi Debate: Homewreckers vs. sluts.

    Posted on 04/14/2010 by Mary

    There's a pretty interesting Degrassi debate going on right now:

    "ughh!! I HATE JENNA! shes a sluut!" -icegirl111
    "I wouldn't say she's a slut, I'd say she's a homewrecker." - Sner2000
    "isnt a homewrecker a slut?" - junior08A
    "Uh no. Slut = has multiple partners. Homewrecker = Someone who intentionally ruins peoples relationships. I don't think she's either. Maybe she could be considered a homewrecker, but I think she genuinely liked KC." - ispinnerrr

    My personal contribution to the debate is fourfold.

    1) While I personally agree with ispinnerrr that the term "slut" is usually used to mean "promiscuous female", and that I can very easily picture a "homewrecker" who is not promiscuous...

    2) I'm not sure that "genuinely liking" the boyfriend you steal makes it not a homewrecker situation. What do you guys think?

    3) Also, I feel the overwhelming urge to quote Tina Fey in Mean Girls: "You all have got to stop calling each other sluts.... It just makes it ok for guys to call you sluts." Especially since people don't tend to call promiscuous guys "sluts", and definitely not with the same venom they reserve for promiscuous girls -- the ol' double standard. Which brings to mind...

    4) A question: can guys be "homewreckers", too? Would anyone call a guy who stole someone's bf/gf a "homewrecker"? I've never heard it done, but maybe you have? Or maybe you have another pet term for a guy who steals someone's bf/gf?

  • Teen pregnancy is preventable.

    Posted on 04/02/2010 by Mary

    Holly J said, "Sav's grown up enough to have sex; he's grown up enough to tell his parents he has a girlfriend."

    True that, and furthermore... if Sav and Anya are grown up enough to have sex, they're BOTH grown up enough to have made a much more thorough, concrete plan for how they were going to prevent a pregnancy -- a pregnancy that would deeply affect both of their lives -- instead of, like, a two sentence conversation two seconds before it happened.

    As they say at stayteen.org," Teen pregnancy is 100% preventable. (Unless it's the result of sexual violence.) What else can you say that about? Either don't have sex at all, or use protection every single time."

  • Off like a Degrassi prom dress?

    Posted on 03/21/2010 by Mary

    Maybe it's the uniqueness of the night, the fact that everyone smells so darn good, or that little extra leeway on curfew people get... but why does prom night have this air of "let's make this night special, and by special, I mean SPECIAL"? Do you and/or your friends think there's any reason to go further on prom night than you would on any other night?

    (Looks like Anya and Sav might, though I guess there are other factors at work there, too.)

  • Holly can't handle the truth.

    Posted on 01/13/2010 by Mary

    When Holly on What I Like About You found out that Henry wasn't a virgin, I'm gonna go out on a limb and say she didn't handle it the super classiest.

    If you start dating someone, how much do you care about the nitty gritty details of their dating history? Is it better to know or is ignorance bliss? And what kind of info do you want -- just like, which bases they've been to or whose bases they've been to?